Making Friends
Coming back to school has been an interesting experience, to say the least. I'm at OSU now, so first of all, it's huge! Ridiculously so. I'm impressed with how nice and friendly the teachers seem to be. I keep hearing that as a new student I should go talk to my professors and TAs, however, I don't know what in the world I would talk to them about, so I'm not sure if that'll happen. I also don't have an assigned advisor, so that's a bit annoying, but I'll work it out eventually.
One thing I have come to realize is that I don't really have friends. I have a best friend, and many acquaintances of varying degrees. It's my own fault of course, since I don't spend a lot of time with people. I'd rather be at home, with my nose in a book. Sometimes though, it'd be nice to have multiple friends, people to do stuff with, talk to, go to class together. Being at a university has just opened my eyes to that fact because I'm constantly seeing people who are sitting next to their friends, talking about roommates, and all that. Maybe it's just me being self-conscious and not thinking of my acquaintances as friends, even thought they might be. Perhaps I don't want to assume a friendship that isn't there, in case of being hurt, but really that's ridiculous because when has that ever happened (?).
I decided to make myself attend two clubs today, even though yesterday I basically had to force myself to make that decision, I did not want to be away from home any longer than absolutely necessary. However, now that I'm at OSU, things are more serious. My future career is even closer, and I have to actually put in some effort beyond just getting good grades. Attending clubs, volunteering, shadowing, talking to people in my field, all the stuff that seems super intimidating at first. Also, making friends. I've recently heard that basically people skills is what will determine whether or not you'll make a good doctor. I think most of my lack of interaction with others is based out of fear, and I need to start fighting that, so I can be in the place I want to be. I must not be afraid to share my opinion, or the truth, or a smile, or a casual comment about something interesting. I must not be afraid to show how much I care about people out of the fear that they won't appreciate it. I mean, who cares if they do or don't!
I think the best way to start is to try and make some friends. If I can do that, I think I may be able to start combating this fear of other people. If I can throw off my worry about how they'll react to my opening up and sharing, and whether or not they want me to, then I'll be on my way to the person I hope to be.
One thing I have come to realize is that I don't really have friends. I have a best friend, and many acquaintances of varying degrees. It's my own fault of course, since I don't spend a lot of time with people. I'd rather be at home, with my nose in a book. Sometimes though, it'd be nice to have multiple friends, people to do stuff with, talk to, go to class together. Being at a university has just opened my eyes to that fact because I'm constantly seeing people who are sitting next to their friends, talking about roommates, and all that. Maybe it's just me being self-conscious and not thinking of my acquaintances as friends, even thought they might be. Perhaps I don't want to assume a friendship that isn't there, in case of being hurt, but really that's ridiculous because when has that ever happened (?).
I decided to make myself attend two clubs today, even though yesterday I basically had to force myself to make that decision, I did not want to be away from home any longer than absolutely necessary. However, now that I'm at OSU, things are more serious. My future career is even closer, and I have to actually put in some effort beyond just getting good grades. Attending clubs, volunteering, shadowing, talking to people in my field, all the stuff that seems super intimidating at first. Also, making friends. I've recently heard that basically people skills is what will determine whether or not you'll make a good doctor. I think most of my lack of interaction with others is based out of fear, and I need to start fighting that, so I can be in the place I want to be. I must not be afraid to share my opinion, or the truth, or a smile, or a casual comment about something interesting. I must not be afraid to show how much I care about people out of the fear that they won't appreciate it. I mean, who cares if they do or don't!
I think the best way to start is to try and make some friends. If I can do that, I think I may be able to start combating this fear of other people. If I can throw off my worry about how they'll react to my opening up and sharing, and whether or not they want me to, then I'll be on my way to the person I hope to be.
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